In the opening episode of the all-new Celebrity Big Brother, as he chatted to his new housemates, multi-millionaire businessman Gary Goldsmith described himself as ‘a toddler on sugar’. It’s a phrase that, for me, sums up everything you need to know about the uncle of the future Queen of England.
Indeed, his words took me straight back to a holiday I spent with him in 2014 at his villa in Ibiza, then named Maison de Bang Bang (after his favourite house music rather than anything more suspect) and now re-christened Tesoro de Oro (Golden Treasure).
As I laid by the swimming pool trying to relax with a book, he flicked my hair slide into the water. Then, with a casual wave of his hand, my sunglasses, and finally my flipflops. Just like a toddler.
‘I’m just trying to be a good host and make sure everybody is not as bored as I am,’ he said, grinning at me as I groaned.
I’d already played endless rounds of the card game Nomination Whist with him. For the fact is, as a friend of ten years standing, I know better than most how very, very bored ‘Uncle Gaz’ gets.
For the uninitiated, Gary, 58, is the brother of the Princess of Wales’s mother Carole Middleton, and by far the most colourful of the Middleton clan. He is also one of 13 contestants on ITV’s Big Brother, alongside Sharon Osbourne, Louis Walsh and Fern Britton.
‘I often read that people think I’m a bit of a bad boy,’ he said in an interview pre-recorded for the show.
‘It would be lovely to put the record straight, but winding people up is probably my favourite hobby. Every part of me is riddled with mischief and danger. I’m an absolute nightmare to live with. There’s a reason I’ve had four wives.’
From the word go, his appearance on the show — in which he twerked and danced — has provoked a storm on social media, with many questioning his qualification as a ‘celebrity’. He’s had more negative comments on X, formerly Twitter, than any other housemate.
He has also received a backlash from TV commentators, who have described him as ‘shockingly misguided’, ‘cringe-making’ and ‘very embarrassing’ for appearing on the show when his niece is recovering from abdominal surgery.
Reality TV legend Sharon Osbourne even nominated him for potential eviction from the Big Brother House this Friday night by putting him in the so-called danger zone, saying: ‘Gary is very nervous. I don’t think he is comfortable yet.’ You can only imagine the feelings of relief among the royals if Uncle Gaz did indeed get booted out after just one week.
However, I believe predictions of Gary’s downfall may be premature. The man I know could easily turn things around with his irrepressible personality and enormous sense of fun.
Contrary to sniping commentators, I don’t believe he will embarrass the Royal Family. For one thing, he’s a huge monarchist. While he’s already put the Duke and Duchess of Sussex in their place, I’ve never heard him say a bad word about the Prince or Princess of Wales.
Even during his 50th birthday party, at The Union Club in London’s Soho — a bash with the theme Mods vs Rockers — he displayed his patriotic streak, donning a Union Jack blazer as he celebrated his half century.
